Top 6 classic board games from my youth......that when you think about it, were actually kind of stupid.

I asked for Mouse Trap for Christmas and I got this.

Mouse Trap -- I"m guessing that I'm just one of many who never, ever played this game the right way. It was more fun to just set the pieces up and watch the mouse get trapped. The fucking game was called Mouse Trap. All I wanted to do was watch a mouse get trapped as all the gadgets and gizmos worked together. That's why it was FUN! I didn't know how to play and never took the time to learn because all I wanted to do was TRAP THE MOUSE like the title indicates will happen! In fact, this should have never been a board game at all. It should have been marketed as a toy from the get go. Available to purchase could have been more toys to connect together. They could have had Dino Capture, Burgler Snag, Witch Pitfall, Ardvark Ensnarement, and Python Catch together creating a massive, rube goldberg type machine.

Sorry -- Look at this shit!  The makers even knew that their game sucked.  They apologize in the title. I don't remember much of this one other than the pieces looked like elongated Hershey Kisses.

Sam Jackson makes things funny.

Guess Who -- Guess?  Guess?!  What the fuck kind of game is this where you guess your way to victory.   Look kids, no skill involved!  Just randomly say names until you win! I copy and pasted these next few sentences from Wikipedia:  "In the United States, advertisements for the board game often showed the characters on the cards coming to life, and making witty comments to each other. This caused later editions of such ads to carry the spoken disclaimer line "game cards do not actually talk." in order to meet Federal Trade Commission advertising guidelines requiring full disclosure of toy features unable to be replicated with the actual product." Wow. Just wow.

Senile old man

Monopoly -- When this game was created in 1903, I'm sure it was the rage of the town. Nowadays, we have better things to do than to play a board game about real estate. It just simply takes too much time. When you start a game after dinner and goes until brunch the next day, the game sucks.  Period. I mean, the fact that they have to market this with fast food should be a sign that maybe the game is out dated. I've participated in the McDonalds Monopoly game more times than I've started an actual game. Too many rules and too many instructions to read. Just give me something simple, like.........

Hungry Hungry Hippos -- This is a game that involves smashing a little lever repeatedly, and that's about it. It's mostly luck and I'm sure sales of this game have been inflated due to breakage of the product.  Other than that, I don't know what else to say. Hippos don't really eat small white balls and their necks to elongate when they feed. They're not orange, green, red and pink and they probably don't violently fight in a square over what they eat. It's just very repetitive with no skill involved. And why little white balls? Is the game implying that hippos eat golf balls? Is it manufactured by the World Wildlife Fund in an attempt to show the dangers of hitting golf balls into hippo infested ponds?

Whoever goes first wins. Just like the actual game.

Connect Four --  Even though it's not really a board game, if you want to buy it, it's found near the board games, so I'll include it. This game relies entirely on the gimmick of watching a small object slide down a hole. It's like they manufactured to many checkers pieces and decided to make a game. What can be accomplished with this game can be accomplished by using a piece of paper and a pencil -- it's called tic-tac-toe. No objects will neatly slide into place, but it's quicker and about as much fun.